The Coup
by Chelsee6
Summary: The women on Graveyard are sick and tired of having their love lives interfered with and decide to do something about it. This is a spoof, I warn you now. Catherine/Sara Sofia/Wendy. Femslash


A/N: I do not own CBS, Jerry Bruckheimer of his characters. This is for fun only and not for proft. Don't ask how I came up with this idea, I don't know. Happy International Day of Femslash everybody. I do know that was yesterday but for unforseen circumstances I was delayed. Sorry.

"I think we should hold a coup" Wendy decided seriously as she sat in the break room with Sara, toying with her coffee mug

"I think we should hold a coup" Wendy decided seriously as she sat in the break room with Sara, toying with her coffee mug.

"A coup?" Sara raised her eyebrow, not exactly sure what the DNA labtech was getting at.

"Yeah. I mean, you hate having to flirt with Grissom, right? And I am sick to death of having little 'moments' with Hodges. We should hold a coup."

Sara nodded slowly. "This is getting ridiculous. I mean, have you noticed when ever Catherine and I are flirting they immediately direct the cameras elsewhere?"

"I know, and then they bribed Grissom to stop pairing you two together, that's gotta suck." Wendy nodded.

"And, I mean honestly, how many slow nights is Vegas really going to have? They can't keep using that as an excuse to stick you and Hodges in the same room together; bored out of your minds." Sara added.

"Absofrigginlutely. And have you noticed how they are always very careful to have the CSI on the case come and collect the evidence from the labtechs and _then_ pass it on to the detective? I mean, come on? They give me absolutely no onscreen flirtation time with Sofia."

"Unacceptable." Sara agreed.

"Any suggestions oh mightiful chess player?" Wendy sighed.

Sara nodded. "I do, but not here; they could overhear us."

"Shit, so they could. Stupid GSR and Wedges shippers. We should seriously cast them as the DBs."

Sara snickered, "Or the perps. Get rid of them double time. They can be bumping each other off."

Wendy grinned.

"What are you two smiling at?" Catherine snapped as she walked into the break room fuming.

"A Warrick thing again?" Wendy asked sympathetically.

Catherine gritted her teeth, "What else. I mean honestly, do I really look that dumb to you? Warrick's nice enough, but do you really think I would let myself get involved with a colleague who has a major gambling problem, don't they think I had enough of that shit with Eddie?"

"Maybe they think that's the type you go for?" Sofia suggested with a smirk from the doorway.

"What sort of moron would go for that type? Honestly? Even if they didn't have a better offer." Catherine shot Sara a beam which Sara returned. "Did you have a better shift than me then?" Catherine sighed as she went to take a seat next to Sara.

"Yeah, Grissom blew me off again. Not that I even asked him out or anything…it was totally messed up. I was asking for clarification on one of his stupid cryptic comments…"

"I hate those."

"They're so annoying."

"Never as insightful as they make out."

"Sometimes I think he's just making it up on the spot."

"I swear he manages to even confuse himself, that's why he can never give any clarification."

"Hello? Can I finish here?"

"Sorry babe, go on." Catherine, Wendy and Sofia turned their attention back to Sara.

"Anyway, they decided it meant that I was seeking his attention and approval and that I was about to ask him out for breakfast, so of course they jump in and get him to shoot me down before I open my mouth."

"Notice how there's no cameras anywhere near here?" Sofia sighed.

"Notice how none of the guys are here either." Sara added.

"…those sneaky little…" Wendy was almost speechless.

"They've been keeping the guys away from us…so they haven't worked out we're dating?" Catherine gaped. "So Warrick and Gris and Hodges still think they're in with a chance."

"Can I say again how grateful I am to not have been flirting with anyone." Sofia smiled.

"No." Sara snapped.

"Stop rubbing it in." Catherine growled. "We have to do something."

"We're meeting at Wendy's after shift." Sara declared firmly."

"We are?" Wendy questioned.

"Yes, I have an idea, and its better we go over it there. Have you noticed how they have temporary camera crews ready to jump into my house the moment I start drinking anything alcoholic, and then they say it's all Grissom's fault cause he pays me no attention. It's their fault I tell you. All this stress it totally all their fault."

"And have you noticed there's another camera crew around the corner from my place just waiting to catch Lindsay acting up so I'll have issues Warrick can help me with. Honestly, he has enough of his own."

"Plus there's a lone camera man willing to follow Sofia when she goes for a jog. Indicating burn out due to the stress of a woman doing a man's job." Wendy rolled her eyes.

"Hey." Sofia protested.

"I wasn't being serious." Wendy assured her.

"Good."

"So, you are the only person to escape the cameras when you clock out? Lucky." Catherine scowled in Wendy's direction.

"Hey, if Sara's plan works out everything will be fine again." Wendy tried to placate her, not wanting to incur Catherine's wrath.

"Yeah, here's hoping. That's settled then, we're all meeting at Wendy's after shift."

"What do you bet they're going to try and stop us from making it?" Sara muttered darkly.

"Yeah, they'll probably fake a phone call from the school saying that Lindsay's been fighting again." Catherine sighed tiredly.

"As well as stopping the clocks so we loose track of time and I end up pulling a double, yet again because I have no life and I am trying not to mope cause Grissom pays me no attention." Sara huffed.

"What do you say we all bunk off sick?" Sofia suggested. "They can't stop us doing that."

"…that is a great idea."

"Brilliant."

--

"Ok Sara, what was your brilliant idea?" Sofia asked as she put on the coffee pot while Wendy fetched the mugs.

"They love focussing on Cath and me fighting, right?" Sara asked, looking around to nods of agreement. "So we have another blow up, and half way through we start making out. They aren't going to have time to turn the cameras away, and I have a friend up in editing who has promised to change the punch codes when I ask him to. They won't be able to get in and steal the footage this time."

"Are we sure they'll air it?" Catherine frowned.

"It's two hot women making out, why wouldn't they?" Wendy injected causing amused smiles from Catherine and Sara, and a scowl from Sofia.

"Ok, you and Catherine are sorted then, what about me and Wendy?"

"Alright, so you two are watching us, and as an officer of the law, Sofia, you should try and stop us…lewd behaviour or something, trump up a charge."

"Yeah, and then I can tell Sofia to leave you two alone."

"Make sure you call her a pet name of some sort, it has to be clear you guys are in a relationship." Catherine insisted.

"No problem." Wendy nodded. "Y'know, I think this might just actually work."

--

"Oh come off it Catherine, the bastard was guilty as hell." Sara raised her voice, her eyes flicking to the side for a moment to make sure the camera was there capturing the whole thing.

"He had reasonable explanations for all the inconsistencies you listed Sara." Catherine responded, her eyes fixed firmly on Sara. She was so hot when she got insistent like this.

"And what the hell do you think the probability is that all of them are true? C'mon, that would be one hell of a coincidence. It's approximately 416 million to one chance he's telling the truth and you are not seeing it." Sara shouted. They well and truly had everyone's attention now. People were crowding in the halls to watch. Some were probably even placing bets. How little they knew.

Catherine didn't give a damn about the rest of the people watching, all she was thinking about was how much she wanted Sara, then and there. Stepping forward she pushed her up against the wall and pressed her lips forcefully against Sara's. She could feel hands on her waist, pulling her closer.

Sara flicked her tongue across Catherine's bottom lip, the familiar dance affecting her just as much as it had the first time. Biting back a quiet whimper she pushed her tongue into her blonde lover's mouth, Catherine responding and pushing her tongue down Sara's receptive throat.

"That's enough ladies, this is a professional workplace." Sofia tried half-heartedly, not anticipating the loud shouts, of 'don't be stupid', 'down in front', 'I can't see, move'. Shrugging she changed her mind; pulling Wendy out of the doorway of the DNA lab she crushed her lips to her girlfriends.

"What is going on here?" Grissom's voice dampened the mood and the four women turned to look at him.

"Make out session, what does it look like?" Sara responded evenly, glad to be able to spit out a tart reply. This was the end of the GSR shippers' delusions, once and for all. No way was there going to be shit about how she had turned to Catherine cause Grissom didn't pay her any attention.

"Sara, I thought you loved me?" Grissom frowned, confused.

"I don't. I love Catherine."

"Love you right back babe." Catherine beamed, wrapping her arm around her girlfriend's waist.

"And for the record I'm dating Wendy" Sofia called out, wrapping her arm possessively around her lover and shooting a glare at Hodges.

"Oh."

A/N: Please review.


End file.
